The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson. The Book Review
- India Rose
- Dec 19, 2024
- 4 min read
Rarely does a book come along that I read more than once. In fact, before The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck*, I’d never returned to any book for a second round, let alone a third. But Mark Manson’s counterintuitive life manual is the exception to the rule—and I suspect there will be a fourth, fifth, and sixth reading in my future.
If you’re in the midst of a mid-life crisis, questioning everything, and desperately hunting for answers (hello, that’s me), this book is like a lifeline. It’s raw, it’s real, and it’s honest in a way that most self-help books aren’t. If I could give it 100 stars, I would. It’s that good.
For me, The Subtle Art has been the perfect antidote to modern life’s fixation on relentless positivity. Mark Manson isn’t here to tell you to manifest your dreams or visualise your way to happiness. In fact, he says the opposite: trying too hard to be happy will only make you miserable and this resonates with me now more than ever.
The Big Lesson
One of the most significant takeaways from this book is that life is hard, and that’s okay. Pain is inevitable. Problems never truly go away—they just evolve into better, more interesting problems. And happiness? It’s not about avoiding discomfort or hardship; it’s about finding the struggles worth enduring.
Manson asks a transformative question: What pain are you willing to sustain in your life? This hit me like a ton of bricks. Instead of asking, “What do I want to achieve?” he challenges us to ask, “What am I willing to suffer for?” It’s this shift in mindset that makes this book so powerful.
Other Key Takeaways and Lessons
Happiness Comes from Solving Problems
Happiness isn’t the absence of problems; it’s choosing the problems you’re willing to solve. As Manson says, “What pain do you want in your life?” Success isn’t just about dreaming big; it’s about loving the grind it takes to get there.
The Feedback Loop from Hell
Ever felt anxious about feeling anxious? Or sad about being sad? Manson calls this the “feedback loop from hell,” and he’s right—it’s exhausting. His solution? Stop overthinking it. Feel bad if you feel bad, and move on.
Life Is Suffering, So Pick Your Battles
This is where Manson’s philosophy feels almost Zen. He doesn’t sugar-coat it: life is hard. You’ll suffer no matter what, so you might as well suffer for something worthwhile.
The Joy Is in the Climb
Rather than chasing a final destination of happiness, Manson reminds us that the joy comes from the climb—the process itself.
My Favourite Quotes
“No one truly happy feels the need to stand in front of the mirror to say she is happy. She just is.”This was such a mic-drop moment. Happiness isn’t something you perform or project—it’s something you live.
“The desire for a positive experience is in itself a negative experience, and the acceptance of a negative experience is a positive experience.”This is the essence of the book in one sentence. The harder you chase happiness, the more elusive it becomes. But when you make peace with the ugly, messy parts of life, joy finds you.
Why This Book Stands Out
I’ve read many, many, other books that resonated with me and my current phase of life—The Law of Attraction by Esther and Jerry Hicks was one of them. But while I liked its theories, it felt like a lot of work. Affirmations, visualisations, avoiding negative thoughts—it’s all exhausting. And, frankly, it asks me to give too many f*cks.
The Subtle Art, on the other hand, feels liberating. Instead of trying to control every thought and emotion, it encourages acceptance. Feeling bad? That’s fine. You’re human. Life sucks sometimes. This perspective feels easier, more natural, and more sustainable than forcing a positivity parade in my head every day.
Final Thoughts
This book is a reality check wrapped in a bright orange cover. It reminds us that happiness isn’t something we’re entitled to; it’s something we work for by embracing life’s challenges. Manson’s message is brutally honest, but it’s exactly what we need in a world that constantly tells us to strive for perfection.
If you’re going through it—whether it’s a mid-life crisis, a career funk, or just the overwhelming noise of modern life—I can’t recommend this book enough. It might just become your new guide to navigating life’s chaos with a bit more grace and a lot fewer f*cks.
If you would like to buy this book, it is available in various formats as linked below. You can click on the texts to buy the book in your preferred format as follows:
For more book reviews, life reflections, and a bit of banter, follow me on social media and subscribe to my website, Read Read Rant. Let’s figure this messy, beautiful thing called life out together!
Comments